COMMUNICATION IS KEY!!
This was what i was screaming in my head as i was being driven in car full of strange boys to my local TGI’s for what i thought was a date
You’re probably wondering how I found my self in this situation so let me tell you about this boy. Let’s call him R.
I was walking home one day from work earphones blasting Cardi B and just as I was about to reach my door someone tapped me on my shoulder. I jumped and turned around and there was this guy standing in front of me grinning from ear to ear.
I was already annoyed because he’d scared me but I was even more annoyed that this meant I had to pause my music and listen to whatever he wanted.
He was short, less than 5″8 average build he had a really round head and a pointy Caucasian looking nose and he looked very Southern African. So he basically looked like a dark-skinned Gru from Despicable Me. Looking back I don’t know why I ended up agreeing to a “date” with this boy because he wasn’t attractive in the slightest and he was a lot annoying.
Anyway he didn’t have a phone at the time ( *Intro to Hardy Caprio’s Super Soaker Plays*) so he gave me his Instagram and made me follow him. If you’re a girl you know what I mean by “made me”. As in man wouldn’t leave until he saw that I’d followed him :s.
After that I put him out of my mind until later that day he Dm’d me then added my snap. We spoke for about a week max mostly me just me flirting out of boredom. I was still living with my ex at the time so I didn’t have much to do once all my work was done.
This happened for about a week until one day he suggested that we go for food. The way I’m set up, if a guy asks me to go for food I’m assuming 2 things.
1: That its a date
2: If he’s asked then he’s paying
So the day came and I was on the phone when he pulled up. He drove a Navy Ford Fiesta with an illegal window tint so I couldn’t see into the car. I walked around to the passenger seat and opened the door. There was a boy in the front seat. We looked at each other in confusion for a good 5 seconds until R poked his head out and suggested I take the back seat.
LET ME JUST PAUSE RIGHT HERE BECAUSE IVE JUST REALISED THE L I TOOK
THE BACKSEAT. ThE BACkSEat. the backseat.
At this point a normal woman would’ve stepped back and said nope not going anywhere. But my logic was “he’s probably just dropping his friend off somewhere”. So I went to the back seat. And what did I find in the back seat. TWO MORE OF HIS FRIENDS.
Honestly I can’t even make excuses for what happened after this so I’m just going to tell the story. You guys can tell me what you think in the comments 😂😭🙂.
So one of his friends moves and I sit in the middle seat. Immediately I went into the group chat and told my girls what was going on. They found it hilarious. I was in the backseat of the car and it wasn’t to receive back Shots?
So this is where he was driving us to TGI’s. No one really spoke so when we got to the car park his friends made their way into the restaurant and I stopped him and asked him what the hell was going on.
WHY ARE THE MANDEM ON OUR DATE????
I didn’t actually say this to him so he explained that it was his friends birthday meal and we made our way into the restaurant. At this point I made another assumption and thought it being a birthday dinner there would be a mixed group of men and women.
So just to update you on the headcount it’s me R and 3 of his friends that were in the car. We arrive at the table and now it’s me R and 10 of his bezzie mates sat on tables that have been combined to make a big table.
ALL OF THEM MALE ,ALL OF THEM IN ALL BLACK, ROADMAN JACKETS GALORE.
The table looked something like this
But like with twice as many tables and chairs.
I kept my mouth shut and sat across from R but I swear to God I was giving him death glare and mouthing abuse to him.
Don’t think he noticed because he introduced me to his friend that happened to be sat next to him. Let’s call his friend A.
A was good looking so I was distracted and I was still in the running for a free meal. I didn’t want to cook or pay for my own food 😭. I spent the meal flirting away with A but trying to be discreet, but I feel like anyone in that restaurant could tell that we were vibing.
So the meal goes okay his friends are friendly asking me questions etc all was good. Then the bill came. NIGGAS STARTED SHUFFLING. I saw that R was shuffling as well and not looking at me in the eye.
I’d had enough so I told the waitress how much MY food came up to and paid my bill. I wanted a free meal because not paying is nice. But I don’t agree on dates or any social activities if I don’t have the money to cover my own expenses.
After about 15 mins of deliberations they paid their bill and we left the restaurant. R dropped me off at my house and I rang a friend to laugh about my situation.
Normally when I start seeing a black guy I run a DBS check through my Hor friends to make sure no ones had their insides rearranged by him. I didn’t do it with R because I seriously didn’t rate him.
You can probably tell how that’s going to go. I asked my friend about him and she immediately gave me his name surname birthday house number and national insurance. DBS check failed, credit report poor. So I started to air him
Around 2 weeks later though he tried to invite himself over to my house. THIS WAS A HUGE PET PEEVE OF MINE WHEN I LIVED ALONE. My personal space is super important and super private so I don’t just allow anyone into my house and when he tried to insert himself into my little 1 bed flat, I blocked and deleted him.
So what’s the moral of the story here
RUN THE DBS BEFORE THE DATE
MAKE SURE ITS A BLOODY DATE
COMMUNICATION IS KEY
DONT JUST DATE ANYBODY
NICE FOR WHAT?
Basically I learned that it’s important to have a type and it’s important to spot red flags and to act on them as soon as you see them instead of allowing them to play out then dealing with the repercussions.
Most importantly I realise how easy it is to find yourself in a situation that could potentially turn out dangerous. I was alone in car with 4 boys they could’ve easily overpowered me and things could’ve turned out differently. The only precaution I was able to take was to let my girls know that I’m in funny but potentially unsafe situation and share my location.
I Hope You Guys Enjoyed and Learned From My Post
P.s A tried to move to me via Instagram so I went on his page and found out that he had a girlfriend of 4 years. I don’t home wreck so that never got anywhere.