Don’t Forget To Say Goodbye

This morning I woke up to News that the UK Rapper/MC Cadet has passed away. The first thing that I thought was that it was a publicity stunt but, the tweets from other members of the industry like Krept made me realise it was true. A talented man only aged 28 died suddenly. There was no way around it, no way to soften the blow no way for me, a fan of his music to reach out and comfort his family because I’m a stranger and that’s non of my business.

I’ve dealt with sudden death before and it was a lot closer to home the last time it happened.

In 2013, my Mums Best Friends passed away within 6 months of each other. Aunti G, Auntie S and my Mum were best friends throughout high school and their lives. Auntie G passed away first followed by Auntie S.

Auntie G passed away back home in Zim but you house was still a sad place to be and my Mum was never the same

Auntie S passed away in SA but was buried here in the UK

I remember the day Auntie S passed away like it happened yesterday. About a week before her daughter, N (one of my closest friends), was telling me about her grandma in South Africa passing away and how they were going to SA for the funeral. I was supposed to come visit but I was broke and didn’t want to ask my mum for money so I made my excuses.

They got on their flight and the next day after college, I was making dinner for my family and my Mum came home really early. She had this really weird look on her face and my now StepDad was holding her up for support as she walked into the house. I consider myself an empath so I knew something was wrong immediately. I dropped the knife I was using to cut up some onions and followed them into the living room.

Mum couldn’t speak so I had to ask my stepdad what was going on. He told me and I didn’t understand he had to repeat himself a few times. I finally looked at my Mum and seeing her grief made me realise it was true. Auntie S was gone. N’s Mum was gone. A woman that I regarded as one of my Mother figures was gone just like that.

I rang my sister and she cried with me on the phone. N was in SA and I mustered a pathetic text message that said something like. “N, I am so sorry”.

I’m not sure what happened next but we went to their house for her wake and I stayed with N and her family on and off for 6/7 months trying to help as much as I could. I loved them, they were my second family. If I were to introduce them to you today I would introduce them as my cousins.

Anyway I don’t mean to go on about my own experience. Or maybe I do. Being confronted with sudden death no matter who it is that’s passed away is really scary.

It reminds you that behind all your desires, wants, needs and everyday choices you are going to die one day and you have no idea when that will be. You have no idea when your loved ones won’t be there anymore so remind them that they’re loved, forgive,forget and move on.

I really wish I’d asked my Mum for money to go to see Aunti S, N and the kids that day. It’s my one and only regret.

R.I.P Cadet

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