#StayAtHome Coping With Corona

Hi! Before you read this Please delete that whatsapp chain message that your Mums, Cousins Aunts friend sent to you from your head and visit https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/coronavirus-covid-19/ for ACTUAL FACTS on COVID 19 in the UK

In this post I will demonstrate to the audience that there is an upside to being cooped up in the house either by yourself or with your *ahem* loved ones.

If you didn’t already know I live in a flat with my significant other. We both work 9-5(ish) but don’t mind the idea of working from home as both our roles allow us that privilege for the most part.

He’s already working from home but I am still required to go into the office 🙂 – I won’t comment any further because I’d like to keep my job.

HOWEVER!

I will say that it’s super duper dumb to make us stay indoors on the weekend and then go back for a further 5 days into the world and continue to breathe on each other and spread this deadly virus because capitalism.

There’s a lot going on in terms of the government and UK society as a whole trying to cope with this but the constant news updates, conspiracy theories , Wetherspoons declaring we are all overreacting and refusing to shutdown, not being able to find chicken and pasta in the shop…..

I am an anxious wreck when I leave my house and its not helping that I’m not allowed to buy more than two bottles of wine at a time anymore : ( …

Luckily, as I was meant to be in Tenerife for a friend’s birthday that Aunty Rona cancelled I have a few days off work to lounge around and calm down. So I’ve tried to make my home a Coronavirus chat free environment to a reasonable extent to protect my mental health.

Here a A Few Helpful and Unhelpful Tips to Get You Through Quarantine/Self Isolation.

  1. DELETE THE NEWS APP ON YOUR PHONE!

Those hourly and breaking news updates from your news app aren’t good for you. Knowing what the exact number of cases and what the death toll is does nothing expect give you UN-peace of mind.

I had the Sky News App up until today when it flashed up to tell me that an 18 year old had died from the virus.

However, when I opened it up there was no article confirming the info in the notification.

Obviously I went on a Google search rampage to confirm the news with other outlets but I wasn’t able to confirm it and now I am paranoid that the powers that be are hiding young people’s deaths from us 🙂.

Another good reason to delete it is that you’ll be getting scary Corona updates AND the normal news.

E.g:

Need I say more?

2. VIDEO CHAT YOUR MATES AND S/o DURING AN ACTIVITY.

The hardest part of self isolation/quarantine is the lack of face to face human contact. I look forward to my weekend drinks/parties etc with my friends and family. You can’t substitute that contact with a phone call or a texts and even normal video chats wont cut it.

So I’ve started “booking” activities with my friends. Instead of just a random call we actually make a plan lets say 1-2 hours to do something together while we’re on video chat.

If you’ve ever been in a long distance relationship you will be a pro at this

Last night my girl and I FaceTimed each other whilst we were playing Sims 4 – we ended up being on video chat for almost 3 hours talking about what we were doing in game, sipping wine and doing our usual gossip and cackling at our wayward jokes.

Not my prefered Saturday night, but I stayed home as per NHS guidelines, had fun, got tipsy all with a bare face and fluffy socks on.

3. “Reconnect” with Your Loved Ones

You know that effervescent feeling you get when you successfully annoy a loved one. You say something that triggers them to the point of no return and you watch them lose it?

Well you have all the time in the world to do this over and over again or plan prolonged annoyances for your viewing pleasure.

For example..( ANS STOP READING)

I recently learned that Ans’ NBA 2K20 rating is a 97 AND if he loses a SINGLE game at The Rec Centre his rating can drop super drastically.

I am a gamer but I hate sports games and first person shooters but I know enough about the game to play badly enough to lower his rating. So I’ve decided that if he keeps leaving his wet towel on my side of the bed I will be having midnight trysts on NBA and he will wake up to an 88 rating.

4. Make A Quarantine Playlist

If you haven’t got an old school playlist already now is a great time to make one. Nothing boosts your mood like listening to music from when you thought that 14 year old boy was going to end up being your husband, music from your favourite dance movie ( Step Up 3D for me) or music from the house parties your parents used to host.

(Whilst also figuring out that your parents should NOT have been playing those songs around your prepubescent ears)

Listening to my old-school hip hop and 2000s Pop and RnB is one of my usual go tos for a mood booster. I’ve found that sharing it with my loved ones is another good replacement for the lack of social contact.

Here’s a link to my playlist, now dance.

5. Masturbate

You’re not doing anything else with your hands………!

6. Take A Virtual Gallery Tour

There are only so many shows on Netflix to Binge Watch, so if you’re like me and you’ve watched Gossip Girl for the 4th time , why not try a virtual tour?

This again is something you can do on video chat with someone that you can’t see IRL

Some of the best galleries in the world have incredibly detailed online tours. No one can actually visit The Louvre in Paris right now, but you can Explore its world-famous halls in your pyjamas

The same goes for the Great Wall of China, The British Museum and The Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam.

Go get some culture.

There are a lot of posts making the rounds on social media encouraging people to be productive during isolation, start a side hustle, learn a new skill.

In my opinion that’s all unnecessary. If you decide to stock up on 14 bottles of Merlot for 2 weeks ( 1 bottle a day ehehehe) and go about your normal routine then go off.

If you decide to launch a career on Tik Tok and start a new viral dance craze then go for it.

If you want to be the next Porn social media sensation and secure the bag by starting an OnlyFans then buss it wide open sis/bro.

As long as you listen to Bojo and stay indoors wherever possible whilst also protecting your mental health by doing what makes you happy (even if its 14 bottles of wine) then thats all we want for you.

Otherwise I’ve been hearing on the grapevine that their beating people up for leaving the house unnecessarily.

#StayHome Keep Corona at Bay or get your wig snatched today.

xoxo Tawana

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